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Freedom

from Awake by Rena Love

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about

When I wrote this song in September 2015, I thought I was writing about my ex fiance (who was also my handler, pimp & constant cause of stress in my life). Once I woke up to mind control and the abuse I suffered as a child, I came to realize I was actually writing about my dad. I didn't even know what I was saying at the time. Looking back, it's perfectly clear.

I feel so blessed to finally be at a place where I can feel immense Love again, despite all the pain. What a beautiful life this is. Praise Jesus, John Clayton Mayer.

lyrics

Freedom is only a myth
It's a twist of the truth
Hangin' on by a thread
And it's not that strong
Seeing as I can't exist
For a minute without
The unending procession
Of thoughts of you
Maybe I'll try to get over
The mountain of guilt
And reminders of
Everything I gave up
Suddenly I can't define
All the ways that I told myself
I should get over you

Everyday I see your face
In my mind running circles
And hiding in corners
That I didn't know
Opened up to my love for you

Freedom is only a gift
Wrapped up in a nightmare
Perched on a cliff
Where my life went wrong
Seeing as I can't go on now
With living this lie of a life
It'll kill me I'm not that strong

Everyday I see your face
In my mind running circles
And hiding in corners
That I didn't know
Opened up to my love for you

One more try
I promise this time
I'll put up a fight
Baby next time
I'll treat you right
Oh unchain me from
This Freedom
And I swear
I'll never leave you again

credits

from Awake, released January 13, 2019
All instruments & production: Ross Harrell
Vocals, Lyrics & Composition: Sarah Ruth Mayer
Recorded at Peachtree Road Studios in Atlanta, GA

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Rena Love Rogers, Arkansas

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